Ok I see my boyfriend about once every 3 months. He came home from school this summer and we were both broke and taking summer classes so we didnt have money to really do anything fun, which is fine with me. My problem is though. He spent a weekend away with his friends (which he lied about and i didnt know he was going until he was already gone) Anyway i was pissed but he said he only spent 15 dollars the entire time, and I believe him cuz he went somewhere thats really cheap. But still!
Do i have a right to be pissed? In my mind most boyfriends would make their girlfriends happiness a priority, he knew i didnt want him to go but he lied and went anyway! And then on top of that he NEVER takes me anywhereee complaining about being broke but then he spends a weekend away! There are other waysss that are cheap to make your girlfriend feel special but he doesnt do ANY of those things ever...unless, of course, hes trying to make up for something. Why cant he just do nice things without me having to TELL him or get MAD at him?!?
And thats only half of it. On top of that whole situation he confessed that he went to get coffee with this girl he knew from high school and paid for her and everything...wtf? like a date? He said nothing happened and it was just once but WTF?! You have a girlfriend thats already unhappy that we never go anywhere cuz we are broke college students and then u go and take another girl out behind my back?!
So my question is..Am I being crazy? Am I overreacting?
Or is he just using me? because thats the way it feels!
Does he just not give a **** or is he just oblivious to my feelings??
I have no idea what to do. Weve been fighting for the past 2 weeks and Im on the verge of leaving him. But i love him and want it to work but NOT with a guy that doesnt care about me.
Hes apologized profusely and doesnt want to break up but I dont know what else to do to get my point across that this is NOT ok behavior and thats not how u treat your girlfriend!
If I take him back, is anything even going to changee?? I doubt it...
What do I doooo??Should I stay or should I go? I love him!?
Let him go, my dear. In his mind, he is leaving you already. After being away at college and only seeing each other every 3 months- he has become accustomed to being without you. He doesn't miss you anymore. Set him free. Some relationships just don't last because 2 people develop in different directions- and this is especially true of couples who meet young. Even though you have known him since high school doesn't mean you have to hang on, and doesn't mean you cannot make room for somebody new. Start dating in your college because I have the feeling that he is, too. If he isn't then I think he wants to. He might be commended for his honesty towards you- but when it came to his weekend with the guys- he felt he had to lie to you, because he wanted it but knew you would create a scene. He wants these things, and it wont last with him trying to please you without pleasing himself.
Let him go with a hug. He doesn't want the same things as you anymore. Creating scenes wont help and will only make you feel more and more like a witch, which I am sure you are not.Should I stay or should I go? I love him!?
whats love got to do with it? I can look back to the past about all the guys i ';loved';...im glad i moved on with my life. Sounds like its time for a new chapter for you. Leave him.
move on sweetie.
agree with first post
tell him your feelings straight out no strings attached
';In my mind most boyfriends would make their girlfriends happiness a priority';
Do you make HIS happiness your priority?
You sound like a ';score keeper';. That's no way to be in a relationship. Give until you can't give anymore, without regard for what you get in return.
I doesn't really seem like he did anything that bad. He likes to hang out with his friends, and he needs a break every once in a while. Like he told you, it's not like he's been spending all that much when he's with his friends. You just need to give him some room. So what if he got coffee with a friend of his from high school? Many guys have girls that we hang out with every once in a while. I think you should do what you like to do, just as long as you don't demand anything from him. Most people don't like to feel like dating is an obligation. Most guys just see dating as fun and relaxing, and sometimes overlook the needs to their girlfriends. But as soon as the relationship becomes demanding, he's not going to want it anymore.
I suggest you get him something nice and maybe do something new and creative for him. That might add a spark to your relationship. If you want something to change about the relationship, there is no way you are going to change him. Take him or leave him. But you can change your own attitude and make him want you more. If you add to the relationship rather than taking away form it through fighting and arguing, you'll become more attractive to him, and he will want to see you rather than feel obligated to see you.
Did you read this jumble of complaints before you posted it? Everything is about you, poor little you, and how you try to control that guy. GET A CLUE! Long distance relationships don't work for very long. He is young and full of testosterone; what do you think he is doing during the three months he is away from you, playing the violin?
You wrote a thousand clues that tell you he isn't into you. Release him and let him go and move on with your life or you are going to be very miserable. I don't think he's around long enough to be using you, but you could just happen to be a booty call when nothing else is available.
He can't treat you that dirty unless you allow him to. It's time you put a stop to it and pretend he was a very bad dream.
he does love you and you love him, but your both unhappy -- he is unhappy also. you need to move on, staying together is not a good idea, it hurts like hell, but you'll both get over it as soon as you meet other people.
Aggggggg! I feel your frustration. Sometimes guys are just oblivious, they dont get it. It takes practice and yes you telling him. You wouldnt think you would have tell or teach some one to be considerate of anothers feelings, but if they havent had to do that you suffer for it by having to teach them. The paying for another girls coffee totally not acceptable, that is like a date. I would not let that fade away, and leaving and not even telling you ouch! The fact that he still wants to be with you shows he cares, but the way he is treating you is unexceptable. You teach others how to treat you. Its gonna be a hard decision to make if he is worth teaching or not with him treating you the way he is already.
Good luck!
I have been in a 3 year relationship that ended 6 months ago with a guy who i also had to TELL to do things for me. And we shouldn't have to. They should just know to do them. However, doing things AFTER they are told to most of the time is ONLY because they were told to do them and to shut us up. My ex fiance apologized to me profusely many many many times and the reality of it is that he never changed. I also loved him, but he left me. I mean, it takes two to tango. Maybe he doesn't like the fact that you tell him what to do. I know this and am guilty of it as well. So what you can attempt to do if you love him is sit his *** down and talk tings over. Tell him how you feel and ask him what he wants out of the relationship. Just like i had this problem, it sounds like you have a communication failure. Talk first and then see where you two stand and if it's worth moving on together or part ways. Good Luck girl. Hope this helped you.
Dump that spaz. He knows you wanna go and hang out with him, yet he spends his money on another chick???????? Sounds fishy. Time to move on hun!
i know what u mena 2 years is a lot of memories, love and time u will throwing away but as i was reading this i could not help and thik that he is not right for treating u this way. really.. i guy should make his gf happiness a priority, ! and spend just a lil on her or make up w a good attitude, or nice sweet things.. and y is he going out w another girl and paying?.... yes, sounded like a date that he confessed to.. look, its going to be hard as hell and ur going to feel like u can work through this, and he will change but chances are he is not... leave him and be on ur own to experience diff. emotions and situations.... besides, he is away which will make it easier.. goo d luck, u know what the right thing to do is, so just do it,,,
i dont think he is going to change, but u gotta stand up for yourself. give him like a warning that if he doesnt make u more of a priority, than u will leave. give him some time and if he doesn't chanhe, levae. im sure u r having a hard time, i feel for u! good luck and pray to God.
well it sounds as if your mind is made up. i sense that he is feeling trapped in a long relationship and his friends are out jumping in bed with anything that moves and inside hes a little jealous, but does love to be with you. the problem is that you cant change someone they will only change if they want to. you most likely brake up with with him and not date for a bit. It will feel lonely but it will help you focus on school and date when you have the time to put into a relationship because its a lot of work. If he really loves you you will be his number one priority and everything else will come second.
Make The Question Shorter Then i will answer properly.
If it's something to do with your personal life then decide for yourself don't ask the strangers of yahoo XD
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