So I asked a similar question before and got some good answers, but wanted to ask a question from a slightly different angle. Basically, my girlfriend broke up with me recently because she felt we weren't really right for each other. She found me to be funny, interesting, and did at one point love me, but felt I didn't really share her views about what it meant to be in a relationship.
She has a lot going on in her life right now. She's starting a new job, she's a little ill, the weather is cold (she doesn't like the cold), and then just the stress about thinking about our relationship the past few weeks (or months). I think she often felt I wasn't romantic enough and didn't really care for her when it was actually me holding back because I felt she didn't want to be smothered. She would often say things like how she had a boyfriend once who always needed to be with her or who was more serious about marriage than she was as reasons for why she ultimately found those guys to be incompatible with her, and she's very outgoing and sociable and will often mention she enjoys the notion of being in a relationship - having someone to confide in, etc, rather than saying she loved me or something along those lines. She once also said she's not the type to necessarily fall head over heals for a guy when dating and that boyfriends in the past often struggled with that because they felt she didn't really seem into the relationship. I misinterpreted this to mean she wanted more space and did not want me to smother her when in fact it turns out she wanted more attention and was sad when I didn't come closer.
I understand that right now her heart is tired and distant and no longer feels the way it did when we first met, but I feel, if given the opportunity and right timing, maybe I can explain to her where things went wrong and get her back. I'm not saying it will happen overnight, but maybe give her some time to just do her thing and get in touch eventually. The usual answer is to just move on, and I've always done that in the past, but this time it feels like I should pursue her, otherwise I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I'm thinking of meeting her briefly, just to exchange some of each other's belongings we still have, and to just briefly tell her why I think we got this way and that I would like the chance to win back her heart without making it too uncomfortable for her. I know that's a tall order, but I think as long as I don't pressure her or pester her but just meet up whenever she has some time and just try to enjoy each other's company, maybe I can get her to see why she first fell in love with me. People always say one should not use reason and logic under these circumstances, but I think maybe a certain level of explaining, along with casually meeting up from time to time, will at least allow for the opportunity to see if her heart can be changed.
Anyway, just thought I'd get some thoughts. I already kind of know what kinds of comments to expect, but maybe some out there have some interesting insights into my situation. Thanks!Telling your ex-girlfriend you still love her after she broke up with you.?
I've read your entire question (unlike most) and I find it very touching. You seem very down to earth very much in love with this woman; so I'm going to give you my thoughts, opinions, etc.
This girl seems very fickle... but love isn't simple, either. It seems like she's looking for someone just perfect; but didn't hold on long enough to give you time to realize what was happening before she ended it. Communication is a HUGE asset of good relationships. She should have sat you down and talked to you about how she felt; i.e: Telling you that she felt you weren't giving her enough attention. Maybe tell you what, in her view, was a reasonable manor of treating her without being too smothering; or too distant. Without communication; things like this happen. They tell you what went wrong, but choose to end it because of it.
I believe that every love has a chance, and everyone has their ';someone';. As to when we meet them or finally have them is completely left to fate. I know there's not a lot of believers in that; but I for one do so strongly believe this to be true.
As for pursuing her, I have this to say. If you feel in your heart, that she's the one; and you truly do love her... Then do it. I think that you have a very good idea of meeting up with her sometime on her own time and will to exchange belongings and talk. Open up to her, tell her how you feel and DON'T hold back. Communication skills are essential; and when put to use make a wonderful relationship bloom. If she seems that she isn't ready; then explain to her that you two should stay close friends; try to meet and hang out with each other and just stay who you are! There are no masks in relationships; because when the mask falls off; the relationship might crumble. Never change yourself unless it's for the better in your OWN eyes.
I want to wish you good luck on things. If she really does love you; and truly wants to give you another chance, then what you're suggesting to do seems very logical and very highly acceptable! Good luck hun, you seem like a very sensible guy. We all deserve our special someone. And if you'd like, you can email me and let me know how it went, or even ask me for more advice. ( o8_Oni_8o@yahoo.com ) Good luck, again.Telling your ex-girlfriend you still love her after she broke up with you.?
I don't think it would be a very good idea to tell her you love her. Just move on. Maybe her breaking up with you happened for a reason.
Didn't read the details but... LAME. move on, she probably has already.
Im a Gurl! i know why she did that move on because when i girl breaks up with you no matter how long it takes 2 try or wat ever it takes 2 get her back you will NEVER get her back :( so move on
you wont get her back.
she left you, she felt it wasnt right.
move on buddy.
Move on %26amp; don't play her games.
she is only playing games with u dont be so stupid ....just move on and focus on ur future that how u can make it best in ur future
I'll be honest, I didn't read your whole post. But from the title it sounds like a terrible idea. Hope that helps!
I'm only thirteen and may not be able to help a lot. But she might be too stressed to be in a relationship, right now. If I were you, I would give her some time before talking to her about this. Though, when you think it's the right time, then you should talk to her about it. You can talk to her about how you are confused with the mixed comments that she's been saying about her previous boyfriends with being too close or too apart. Sometimes, girls want a little air, but then again, they also want someone to be there for them. Try to be in the middle. Us girls are confusing! :)
You have to be true to yourself, and you have to listen to your heart, so follow what it is telling you. What's the worse case scenario, that she will go away. She has already done that, so you've nothing to lose and everything to gain. Perhaps you need to make her feel the possibility of truly losing you. After you approach her and explain that all the things she ever told you, were messages to you that she didn't want a guy to get too close or too dependent on a relationship with her, so you listened and tried to do those things for her, thinking that was what she wanted and what would enable her to be happy with you. Tell her that now that she had expressed otherwise, you would like to begin anew, but if that isn't a possibility,then you are thinking of moving to Maine; New Hampshire; Oregon, whatever you feel would best fit in here~and starting life over from there. Tell her that the two of you can correspond in letters and keep in touch with one another. But, only say this if she declines your offer to begin anew with your relationship. People, many times, don't know what they've got till it's gone, so if you have to, do the take away, like a child who only wants toy once another kid comes along and takes it away. It may be hard to do, but you have to try it as your last shot. Whatever you do, do not kiss her ***. She will only turn you down if you do, and lose respect for you. Play it as cool as you can and remember that rejection makes someone want you more, and that is what you may have to do to get her wanting you back once more. My best to you.
Hi chunques...,
I have read your post. But your title says all...you are in love with her and as you said she is having bad time so I would encourage you to just go and give her shoulder to cry...I mean just make her realize that you love her...give her care..identify all those activities/habits which think she does not like....you know what if you only send her your this post she wull be impressed and don't know why but I have kind of this feeling that you will get her attention and love back...just be confident and straight forward with her...Do not take any assumptions....GET HER BACK MATE...and you will...
I wish you best of luck. :)
Dont love that silly little din-a-ling. Like seriously.
Her vagina is a juicy dilly bar.
She is being a dilly bar,
Which means she is being cold while another man eats every inch of her up
and you are the boy across the park who wishes he would of had enough cash to buy that dilly bar because its 90 degrees out.
but another man had the cash flow pal. and he is sucking that soaking wet badger so dry, that the sahara would seem flooded.
Just bail. She is soo silly.
It's kind of sad how you like this girl so much. She is just turning you inside out. There is some psychology behind this though.
Because she is being distant, it is driving you crazy. You are thinking that you may regret not pursuing her. For the rest of your life. And get real - how many people really pine for someone the rest of their life? Not many.
I don't say, move on. But give her space. Just be her friend. You'll find out how she really feels if you are still there for her as a friend but are pursuing other people. She is taking you for granted. She can treat you however she wants and you only question yourself more. Aren't you worth more than this?
Keep in touch with her but get on with your life. In the end, I predict that you will find someone great that you love who values you, and she will see that she let a good one slip away.
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